Saturday, March 5, 2011

Agreement and moving on

Yesterday my wife and I reached agreement on distribution of property, clearing the way for a divorce decree by the end of the month.

It's been almost two years since she first said that she wanted our marriage to be over.  What once seemed a simple process became more and more complex and protracted as suspicion of withholding assets and anger about past issues was stirred into the mix.  I began to think we'd never be free of each other, though clearly we each wanted to be.

Now that's about to be over.  Neither of us ended up with all the assets we wanted. I'll give up a big chunk of the retirement savings for which I've worked, and I'll also put a great deal of cash into retiring a debt that I once dismissed as unimportant.  In addition, I'll contribute half of the boatloads of cash necessary to refinance the house with its underwater mortgage and put it in her name. And a few other things.

We'll each have what we have, and we'll move on.  Intact.

The irony here is that the mistakes and bad decisions that led me to a failed marriage have also been part of the path that's left me living in Hawaii, doing a job I really like, and living a life that I love. In the midst of sadness, I've never been happier.  If I'd eliminated any of the mistakes, I might not be here.  There's lots more to say about why life is good, and today isn't yet the day to say it.

By the way, as part of our agreement I have taken down all the divorce-related video cartoons. Letting go, moving on...

And by the way, I've lost almost 70 pounds as of this morning.  And I feel great.